THE CASE OF OLIVER BLOOPERS
by Evellet
Summary: This is what happens in the making of the play Oliver, in which I play the lovely Nancy.


Authors Note: Ok, so I have the privilege of playing the role of Nancy in our school play, This is just some funny stuff of everyone being the crazy people we are during rehearsal and not in rehearsal…. anyways…. lol

THE CASE OF LEARNING A COCKNY ACCENT

So Oliver is a British play with accents. However, in our case, the kids and some of the adults were apparently unaware.

Me: Oh my dear little brother!

Oliver: _No emotion and just standing there. _Leggo, Leggo, who is it Leggo.

Director: Oliver, you're struggling and yelling.

Oliver: why?

Me: Your saying LET GO LET GO!!

Oliver: OH! Ok _laughs _I thought I was asking for a Lego.

Director: Blue or green? Ok take it again…

Me: Oh my dear little brother!

Oliver: _Screams and pulls and just about dislocates my arm. _Leggo! LEGGO, who is it? LEGGO!!

Street people: _laughing hysterically_

Director: CUT! Why are you laughing? She (Our Oliver is a girl)…I mean he is getting kidnapped, what funny about that??

* * *

Thieves: Ya but not ARRRF

Director: your not dogs! You're saying half with out the H.

* * *

Bill: Give it air you avaricious old skeleton! Give it AIR!

Fagin: _Blows in Bills face_

Bill: Hey!

Fagin: you said give it air

Director: Its HERE Bill HERE but no H

* * *

THE CASE OF DIRTY LITTLE SAYINGS

The High School Cast finds it funny to think of dirty things and then say them out loud.

Widow Corny: _sings _I shall SCREAM! I shall SCREAM

Mr. Bumble: _Sings _you will wonder where the scream went when we come to an agreement.

Fagin: Woe! What kind of play is this?

* * *

Dr. Grimwig: It that boy's thirsty I'll eat my head sir!

Bill: Man will that hurt! _I slap him_ Ouch!

Me: Little ears!

* * *

And then there are times when the kids say things that I marvel where they get it.

Me and Bet are on the Balcony of the Tavern

Bet: Think Whorish Think Whorish

Me: _Stares credulously_ what did you say?

Bet: Well were prostitutes right?

Mind you Bet is 8years old!

* * *

Me: _sings…_And dream he was an earl wiv a girl on each knee…_ Jumps off the table and Mr. Percy Snod Grass hands me a dollar, I put in my shirt. _

Director: Nice improve guys

Me: _Laughing and has to start the song all over again. _

* * *

THE CASE OF ON STAGE COMBAT

In the process of learning on stage combat, sometimes it went a little askew.

Noah: …Or she'd have been doing hard labor in prison-as like as not!

Oliver:_ Jumps and begins to punch Noah then chokes him. Oliver then falls off the table as it rolls. _

* * *

Bill: I'll soon do that if you don't KEEP OFF _Backhands me_

Me: _Flies to the floor _

Director: that looked so fake. Nancy, what happened to the slap? Is it soundless? Again.

Bill: I'll soon do that if you don't KEEP OFF _Backhands me and I produce the slap then go toppling onto the floor onto the trashcan posed as the fire. _

Director: Nancy, good sound effect but you just caught on fire. Again.

Bill: I'll soon do that if you don't KEEP OFF _Backhands me and I produce the slap then go toppling onto the floor onto the trashcan posed as the fire. AGAIN_

Me: _Stands up very angry. _Wots that BLASTED thing doin in the middle of the feakin stage any way!!! _We try the slap again an again I fall onto the trash. _

Thieves:_ Laughing _

Me:_ Fuming_ shut your traps!

Director: Nice way to get in character.

* * *

Bill and I blocked my death scene with the help of Dr. Grimwig

Me: _Points _you see 'im 'es right there. Go on

Oliver:_ Hugs me_

Bill: _tears him away_

Me: _Holding onto Bill and Oliver _BILL! Don't take 'im back 'im back Bill, Let 'im Go for pities sake let 'im go! _Lets go of Bills arm. _W-w-why you lookin' at me like that Bill?

Bill: _Backhands me_ _and I don't fall but stagger _It's a dark night my girl but it's light enough for what I've got to do

Me: _attempts to slap Bill and he grabs my hand and pulls me to him _I wasn't gonna blow the gaff honest I wasn't Bill! I wouldn't say nothing! _Begins to choke me and I struggle and die._

Dr. Grimwig: Bill! You should back away and then throw a joker card at her!

Me: This is not Oliver In the Hood!

* * *

Bill: YES SHE WILL FAGIN! _Actually backhands me but not with full force thank GOD!_

Director: Wow! That was a good slap!

Me: Ow!! _Holding face as the tears are coming _

Bill: OH CRAP! Did I actually hit you????

* * *

THE CASE OF THE LAUGHING

There will always be laughing…

Me: YES!! I know all about – YOUR SMILING!!

Bill: I'm sorry but your face is so close _Laughing_

* * *

Me: _Sings _As long as he needs me I know where I must be

Bill: Makin that money Ho!

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

Director: Bill Keep yer mouth SHUT!!!

* * *

Me: _Sings _Pretty little Sally goes walking down the ally _pulls up dress to thigh and one of the guy hold my leg which is very ticklish and I start laughing really hard!!! _

Director: Nancy! Get it together!

Me: _still laughing uncontrollably. _

* * *

I will add more as thing happen!


End file.
